Monday, January 10, 2011

Sometimes, garbage piles up

Halloween was especially dark for me in 2010. Quite early that morning, I got into a car accident. The aftermath was a mixture of people in my face, asking if I was okay until I went blue from repeating the same story; and people behind my back, judging the situation and talking about how reckless I had been.

Then came the old car payment, the new car payment, the hospital bills, and finally -- two months later -- the letter informing me that my insurance probably wouldn't cover all of the damage done to the other car (a Mercedes, of course). Between all of this, my credit card number was stolen; a package of clothing I'd purchased was stolen; and my sister got into a car accident herself. The extra expenses and stress I was forced to face were on top of my usual bills and ridiculous Los Angeles rent.

As much as you may think this is a cry for attention, it's not. I don't want you to feel sorry for me; this isn't a pity party. I know that many people have it better than me, but many more people have it much worse! I'm seeing it happen before my eyes -- we all see it, as much as we want to think our problems are tragedies.

Whatever you're going through, I hope you have something that's pulling you through. Something that keeps you from giving up. For me -- along with my amazing boyfriend, friends and family -- it's this. It's writing. It's what I did in the sixth grade when I was made fun of for not shaving my legs, it's what I did in the tenth grade when the boy I liked chose another girl over me, it's what I did in college when I didn't know if I'd pass my finals, and it's what I started doing -- once again -- last fall.

Blogging has become more than a release of creativity and emotion for me. It's reignited a passion and a zest for life that I thought I lost. It's given me something to wake up to and to do before bed; something to give me an escape from reality and to face it. We're lucky to live in a time when we have these tools!

If you need something to get you through life, and you haven't found it yet -- you can turn to me. I know this is getting painfully cheesy, but seriously, shoot me an e-mail or a tweet or a comment. I don't care if I've known you a minute, a month or a decade -- I aim to treat everyone with the same respect and warmth that a best friend would offer.

There's too much trash in the world. Let's change that with some positive energy! (Sorry, couldn't help it. I swear I'm not always this corny.)


  1. I love this! Expressing yourself truly and honestly through writing is a beautiful thing and it's something I can totally relate to. I've been journaling, writing short stories, poetry and songs since I was a young girl and it's always helped me tremendously. Blogging just seemed like a natural progression for me but I've found that it's even better because it provokes a dialogue that inspires a deeper thought process. Thank you so much for sharing this. xx

  2. this post is really full of energy. i love how you're being yourself. you're a cool person, i think.
    and great outfit !!

  3. Hey. Somehow this post has so much positive energy in it, at the end of it your just smiling. so thanks for that smile, cuz however small, you've already made a difference :)
    Always looking forward to posts from you.

  4. I love your honesty in this post, thanks for sharing with everyone what you went through. That takes courage. You have come very far and there is still a long way to go, just keep thinking positive.
    When I experience or go through a bad time I always try to think of others who may have it worse than I do (and there are many). Then, after crying, worrying too much, or feeling hopeless for a bit I take that frustration and start to draw…or write. Other times I take a walk or exercise. It really helps. Use bad situations in a positive way and you will feel much better at the end of the day.


  5. I love this. It's so true. Being positive is the best way to get yourself out of a crappy situation. I'm glad that you can brush those old crappy things out of your life and continue with the things that make you happy. I know that works for me too. When i'm feeling terrible i just look at all the things i love and it makes me feel so much better.

    Much love


  6. I agree with the first comment. You are awesome!
    I know how you feel. I was in a really bad car accident back in Aug. on the highway of all places. My friend was driving and her tire blew out near the exit. My side smashed into the exit sign (well, through is a better term) and the car flipped twice and landed upside down in a ditch. I remember the first thing thing that went through my mind was "great, we are hanging upside down in a car on the highway...we are so not going to the beach" the second thing that came to my mind was "OH MY F***ING GOD,I'M HANGING UPSIDE DOWN IN A CAR ON THE HIGHWAY" But stuff really hit the fan when my best friend told me she couldn't move her legs, and I registered the smell of smoke. PANIC MODE!

    Thankfully we got out safe.

    That accident changed my life in ways that I never would have imagined. I was thankful for everything I had, and for my life. The scariest part was 5 minutes before our tire blew out, we were driving over a bridge, and there was nothing but water under it. And it made me think "thank the Lord it didn't blow out on that bridge", because we would not be alive today.

    That accident also made me realize how people really are. When I got out of the car, I saw that poeple were just driving past us. No one stopped to help, and that really broke my heart. I had to run a wave people down.

    That accident also made me learn to not let the little things piss me off. I was really rude to my mom that day, and as I was in the car I was thinking that I didn't say goodbye to my mom. And that is the worst feeling anyone can ever have.

    I'm not saying all of this for attention or anything. I just wanted to share my story with you, because you shared your's with everyone, and me. And that story showed how real you are, and made me want to open up to you.

    PS. It is okay to be corny :]

    <3 all of your blogs!

  7. I feel the same way about writing. I've always found it to be incredibly therapeutic.

  8. Thanks everyone! I appreciate the support. We have a great community here :)

  9. Wow, I'm sorry for all your bad luck! But things can only get better from here! And great point about many having it worse, so many people only see their own problems.. so thanks :)

  10. i adore you. this is such an amazing post. that's crazy about getting into an accident on halloween, but i'm so happy to hear how you work through things. blogging really is a great release. you're just such a strong and wonderful person to take the crap and turn it into something positive and strong. you rock, so hard.

    Kristy Eléna - Full Time Fabulous
    Vogue Gone Rogue
    Twitter: @kristyelena

  11. Stephanie, you're so sweet! I grew a pretty thick skin growing up and my experiences taught me that the only person in the world I can depend on is myself. If I'm confident in myself that I can get myself out of any situation, I feel better. Maybe because I have a family who were not there for me when I need them the most. It sucks but oh well..

  12. Stephanie, thank you for sharing your story with us! Your honesty and experiences are inspiring. You're amazing. seriously.


  13. wow that's a really hard trial to go through! blogs are definitely a great release (i'm totally guilty of using mine as my emotional box). the important thing is that you are doing much better. :)

    ~Newscutouts from

  14. Fantastic post. Someone once said "It's not what happens to you but your attitude towards it" they were explaining that having the right attitude and outlook is one of keys to happiness. I totally agree. Your post is a fabulous example of this. I'll be back for more.
    Take care,
    CamilleA (Karma-Style)

  15. Sorry to hear about such a difficult impasse. I was *just* today talking to a friend of mine about how amazing it feels to be energized and stoked about something. I can relate to needing those outlets. I run regularly for sanity. I write as form of therapy, creative expression, what can I say? Anything we do in life that can be shared with others is like passing a plate of dessert around. It's not so much ours to keep, we just generate as we get inspired by others who generate, etc... It's a pretty cool cycle.

    And that wild ride you were on? All things shall pass. You know that. I'm glad to hear you have the support and outlets you need to stay as healthy as possible.

  16. the motivation to exercise, but researchers say that up to 20 to 40 percent of people say that they "hate" or "dread" exercise. Motivational Stories


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