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Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Look + Lunch + Lessons :: American Stripes + French Toast + Independence
















Outfit details: Shirt, shorts - AT. Charm bracelet - JC. Bangles - RJ. Sunnies - SW. Shoes - Plato's Closet. Ring - Wendy Brandes.


Five years ago, I wrote the following in my LiveJournal: "I'm just not ready to reveal all of myself again, or maybe I'm just not real enough."

It was July 4, 2007. I was 20, newly single, and spending summer at home before heading back to college for junior year. I was sad and confused, working two retail jobs during the day and drinking cheap beer at night, wasting time and money while waiting for autumn. I spent my weekends in basements, kissing boys I can't begin to remember the names of now, out of boredom and loneliness.

My life always seemed to be cyclical -- the same things happening at the same times of year, learning the same lessons over and over again, reaching for the same hopes and dreams -- until now. This time around, it's different. I'm different. Today, being alone doesn't mean being lonely, and being single doesn't mean being sad. I've found myself a fresh start, and I'm satisfied in the moment. Suddenly, I don't want anything that I don't already have. I'm working, but I'm not striving. I'm not longing or searching... I have enough. I am enough.

But that doesn't mean I'm not open to change.

This holiday means hamburgers and hot dogs in the USA, but I went to brunch instead, with Celeste and her boyfriend Adam and his cousin Phil. After food at Twain's and drinks from Coffee Bean, we basked in California sunshine. The boys talked about religion and politics; Celeste and I discussed nail polish, tan lines and relationships.

"I don't think anyone goes right from being with someone, to being okay with not being with someone," she said. So it seems that the long, painful process that I've been through over the past year was not only normal, but necessary, in order for me to get to this point.

And if that's the case, I don't regret a damn thing.

Happy Independence Day.

22 comments:

  1. I don't miss my dating years. Lots of up's and down's. I enjoy married life now. It is sweet reading about your adventures tho. Whether married or single, its always an adventure. Sounds like your living life to the fullest.


    Vintagehoneybee.blogspot.com

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  2. Well said, Steph, and you guys look adorable! Looks like it was a good time, especially the FOOD! -Jessica

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  3. I just read this quote by Pablo Neruda: "love is so short, forgetting is so long"; to state the obvious, it takes a long time to get over relationships. It is so good when you reach that place where you know that you are enough just as you are and your life is enough just as it is because whatever comes is only a bonus, you don't need it. It took me SO long to get over my last relationship (like years and years long, haha) but it also made me develop into a completely different person than I was when I entered into the relationship. I like who I am now better and I think that always tends to be the case :) xo

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  4. Oh, Steph. You are so lovely. Can we be best friends?

    p.s. that exclamation point ring is the best.

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  5. I don't believe in regrets. What is the point? What's done is done. Change what happens next, because you can't change the past.

    Also, I think our society makes us feel badly for having emotions. We're supposed to be happy ALL THE TIME. But that's not normal, not even possible. I don't believe in wallowing, but I do believe in allow us our time to heal. And if we have to take a little longer to feel it, to get over it, then so be it.

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  6. Gasp! I love your ring, and yay conversations about nail polish! Boys annoy the shit out of me though...unless they're my friends :)

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  7. I love your outlook on life. I feel like we could totally be kindred spirits.

    http://www.glamkittenslitterbox.com/
    Twitter: @GlamKitten88

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  8. What a lovely post! Great perspective! And I see your growth just within the past year+/ or so of knowing you merely through blogging.
    I love your jewellery!-xo

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  9. You look so comfortable and happy! I love it! I get so afraid of these same issues and you always have me thinking, how does she do it! It seems like you're not afraid to do what you want and what makes you happy. I know that comfort doesn't come easily or quickly but knowing that it does come around makes me feel heaps better.

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  10. Great look and delicious food! Yes, I am in LA too ;)

    If you like my new up and coming blog, follow me on Bloglovin'. Let me know in the comments, so that I can follow you back ;)

    LA By Diana Live Magazine

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  11. aw thanks for your lovely comment on my blog Stephanie <3 really appreciate it :) anyway love all the yummy food you got to enjoy! pancakes with strawberries are always good haha. the last picture with the close-up of your face is also really pretty <3 the ring is awesome, looks like an inverted cross but an inverted exclamation mark is far more innocent :P

    metallicpaws.blogspot.com

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  12. I love love love this post and I think you look like a model in the closeups. Someone needs to discover you as an actor or something as we always say. =Mama

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  13. I love your blog! This post is awesome!
    Check out my blog, write your opinion and maybe...follow?
    Where are you from?

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  14. It's definitely hard to get to a good place. I am 30 in a month and am now just learning these lessons. I finally found an amazing relationship because I finally agreed that I'm worth having one, that I shouldn't settle. And consequently, I now feel so much more comfortable in my skin and happy to have all my quirks and flaws. (I agree that the close-up picture is stunning, you should really submit that to someone!)

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  15. Looks like an excellent way to spend the 4th. Love the stripes-Very cute blog! Happy to have found you~

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  16. That's great! I never celebrate the 4th (I know, how unpatriotic, but I have my reasons), but what a way to spend "Independence" day - being happy with your independence! A lot of processes are super long and painful, but a lot of them ARE necessary, and it's great to get to the point of seeing that. Congrats for you, girl!

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  17. Aw so true! I'm glad you're celebrating your independence. It's important to love being with yourself.and I love that ring!

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  18. Isn't it crazy when you read older things that you've written and it's like, wow, that makes so much sense now!

    Looks like you had a great holiday. Love the Wendy Brandes ring!

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  19. It has always taken me a long time to get over a relationship even if it's a bad one! Your friends right, it takes time to adjust and the happiness at the end is soo worth it!

    I just started to read your blog, and I really enjoy it!

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  20. Love your style, always. Especially love the sunnies here. Also have pool envy ;)

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  21. As always I love your food pictures, they're always the best!

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  22. That exclamation mark ring is amazing!

    I love your outlook on life. I definitely feel like I have been lost before myself but at 25, I feel like things finally start falling into place.

    Happy looks good on you! =)

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