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Thursday, July 24, 2014

Life :: There's No "I" in Team

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I love these pictures. They're blurry and awkward, but I love them because I love us, and I love him.

I'm trying to cherish every moment with B before BL comes along. Not that we're dreading it, at all. In fact, I find myself wishing that the next two months will fly by. I want to fast-forward to October when we're settled into our new home with our new family member. Life is so strange and uncertain right now, and I'm longing for normalcy. I'm longing to seeing our son's face and know that it was all worth it.

But I know I'm going to miss these short minutes, these fleeting memories, especially the silent ones, when it's just him and I in the car before a date, or napping on a lazy afternoon. I usually end up just laying there, studying his face, with one hand on my belly, thinking of both my boys until my heart feels like it might burst with gratitude.

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The other day, one of our roommates said, "I never hear you guys fight." That's because we don't. We have had maybe three fights, ever, and they were more like arguments or debates, nothing major. We don't raise our voices, we don't yell, we don't accuse or insult. It's just not what we do, and I don't want to. There's no need. I respect him too much. We both had plenty of experience with the opposite sex before meeting, but neither of us had experienced a relationship this easy before.

I'm not saying neither of us has been hurt by the other, but it's accidental, and it's rare. I'm also not saying that there was something wrong with our exes, or something wrong with our former selves, but I do believe in The One and those other ones just weren't it. They weren't meant to work out.

People say, at some point, we'll get sick of each other. We won't be attracted to each other anymore. We won't get along as well. They say it'll be different after we get married, and the first year of marriage is the hardest. But, you know what? I'm not worried. Maybe we're doing this whole thing backwards, but I think that raising a kid together will bring us even closer, and our healthy foundation will be even more solid. I know it won't be perfect, but nothing ever is. Some might say we're doing it wrong, but we're doing it our way, and what could be more right than that?

I know he's going to be an amazing husband and father because he's taken care of me so well. Being pregnant has forced me to let go of my pride and allow someone else to lift heavy boxes, wipe my tears, and make 7-Eleven runs when I have a craving. If I ever feel like I'm alone in this, which I do, a lot, he gently reminds me "there's no 'I' in team." Sometimes it's not so gentle, sometimes it's firm, because sometimes I still don't understand why someone would volunteer to deal with a pregnant lady. I suppose that's what you would call unconditional love, and I'm so thankful that I get to experience it, with him.
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