Thursday, October 23, 2014
Lessons :: It's Okay to Not Want Kids (Guest Post)
Hello, loudmouths! My name is Kelly, visiting from kellydelvalle.net. This is my first ever guest post, and I have to admit, I'm pretty nervous. A brief about me: I'm a Floridian outdoors-woman who loves to share my enthusiasm for living life responsibly and to the fullest.
Since the whole reason I am here is because Steph is on maternity leave, babies have been on my mind quite a bit. And by quite a bit, I mean almost constantly, because I also happen to be a newly wed. And, as Steph herself said, usually when you move in with someone, people start asking when you're going to get married. And then once you're married, people start asking if you're going to have kids.
I have been married since June 8, 2014, and I have already lost count of the people who have asked, poked, and prodded me regarding procreation. I've hemmed and hawed over the answer, not looking forward to the looks I get when people hear the awful truth: I do not want kids.
I am not saying that in the I-Don't-Want-Kids-Right-Now-But-Maybe-Later sort of way either. I am saying it as a twenty seven year old woman who has never felt a maternal tug, and is quite sure that she never will. I am also married to a man who not only agrees with me, but likes to make crying children in the grocery store cry harder.
And not wanting kids is okay. It does not mean that my husband and I hate your baby. (Or at least, I don't.) It also doesn't mean that I am selfish, or broken, or afraid of commitment. It just means that parenting is not for me, but there are plenty of other things that are. Some of those things are even relevant to children!
(For instance, I will make an excellent guest at your baby shower. I don't know why people assume that since I don't want kids I don't want an invitation to their showers! Especially since I am excellent at the game where you guess the baby food flavor.)
So what is the point of what I am saying?
Well. I want to be invited to your shower.
No, really. I want to be able to answer the 'when are you guys having kids question' truthfully, without having to worry that I am about to alienate someone. I want to live my child-free life without feeling that I have somehow jeopardized my womanhood. And I'm willing to bet that there are a ton of other woman out there who feel the same way! So, ladies, please be kind to women who aren't mothers and never will be. Because they're still human, still women, and not having children doesn't change that.
Kelly likes to take pictures, write stories, and dress up as video game characters and parade around convention centers. Her life is a mixed bag, and she likes it that way! You can visit her on Pinterest and Twitter, or at her blog.