I've been trying to write this post for the past week.
And honestly, I'm still not sure what it's about. But I'll figure it out as I go along, just like I have with everything else. Because let's be honest, people: I've done a lotta shit over the years.
I tend to get obsessed with things right away, and then drop them just as quickly.
About every 6 months to 2 years, I change my career path. I've always had the same WHY, it's just the HOW that's constantly changing. I get bored of stuff easily. If I'm not having as much fun as I want or if I'm not making as much money as I want, I start something new and then I usually end up at square one.
In last week's video, I told you about how much of a perfectionist and overachiever I've always been, and how I used to hate myself because of it but we should all just do what the fuck we want:
For the record, blogging has definitely lasted longer than any other project/hobby/jobby I've attempted in my adult life. Just for fun though, let's look at everything else I've done/tried to do/wanted to do.
A LOUDMOUTH LIFE STORY (SUBTITLE: NEVER SAY NEVER)
It all began back in April 1987. The month I was born. It was glorious, or so I've heard.
I graduated high school in 2005, college in 2009. We'll skip the awkward years between.
Since then, I...
- Started a fashion blog called The Loudmouth for fun and for profit (Dec 2010). I made like $2 in 2 years. Changed title to The Loudmouth Lifestyle (Nov 2011) because most of my posts ended up being dramatic essays about my life. Then decided to focus more on helping women by giving them advice rather than telling stories (April 2013), so I began creating informative posts. Released my first e-book (June 2014) and started life coaching (Jan 2015) but decided I liked business coaching better (June 2015). Currently working on new packages for fall.
- Left my uninspiring front desk job (March 2011) and vowed to never work 60-hour weeks again, then got hired at a rental car company after sending out 100 resumes (October 2011) and started working 60-hour weeks again. Left THAT job (March 2014) and vowed to never work for anyone else again, then volunteered to start working for Brandon's mom's company (September 2014). Also became a Beauty Consultant with Mary Kay (April 2015) where I'm going to stay as long as I'm having fun and making money, or until I change my mind again.
- Said I was never having kids, I was married to my career, and I was perfectly content being by myself forever (February 2013). Then I met Brandon (March 2013), got pregnant (December 2013), had a baby (September 2014), and got engaged (July 2015). Yes, that last event just happened. No big deal. Just kidding, being Brandon's fiancée feels more amazing than I ever thought possible. And being Trey's mom has been the easiest and best job I've ever had.
Somewhere in all of that, I also...
- Gained 30 pounds (2010), lost 20 pounds (2013), gained 60 pounds (2014)
- Tried singing and rapping -- that's not a joke (2011)
- Wanted to move to New York and work for a fashion magazine (2011)
- Decided to pursue photography and opened an Etsy shop selling prints (2011)
- Started putting a modeling portfolio together (2013)
- Sold thrifted and vintage items in an online store (2013)
- Tried freelance writing, but wanted more creative control (2014)
- Said I wouldn't blog about my baby, then started a baby blog (2014), then abandoned it (2015) because I'd rather spend time WITH him than writing ABOUT him. Plus, everything I'd say is already on Facebook or IG. No judgement against other baby bloggers, it just ain't my jam.
So, as you can see, I've liked and stopped liking a lot of things.
I've gone back and forth. I've changed my career, my lifestyle, and my apartment (several times). I've bought and sold and replaced more pieces of furniture and clothing than I can count. And through it all, as I mentioned in the video above, I've wished to be someone else.
There have been so many moments when I thought, "Why can't I be someone who has zero ambition and just wants to sit around watching movies and eating Doritos all day? Or why can't I be someone who is perfectly content being at the same job for 25 years and then retiring? Or why can't I be someone who has 6 kids and chooses to be a stay-at-home mom and stops working entirely?"
But the thing is... those lives aren't mine. Those people aren't me.
I was given this personality for a reason.
If God wanted me to be one of those people, then I would be one of those people. And again, no judgment, they just aren't me. Maybe I will be one of them someday, because Lord knows I'll change and evolve and grow and do something new again, but right now this is who I am. Those things wouldn't keep me satisfied right now, at this point in my life, but our lives change every day.
And right now, I am a sometimes coach, always writer, full-time mom, part-time communications director, bubbly beauty consultant, plus-size advocate of body positivity, and a follower of Christ who just wants to make a difference in the world.
Maybe it's time for me to forgive myself for doing so many different things, and instead be grateful for all of these amazing experiences I've been blessed with. My life is unique and interesting and instead of wishing to be someone else with a more "normal" one, perhaps I need to just relax and enjoy mine, yes?
The thing is... who we are, where we've been, and what we've accomplished -- no matter how big or small -- matters. Because we can take what has happened in our lives and turn those experiences into something that inspires others.
We can take what has happened in our lives and turn those experiences into something that inspires others. #liveloudly— Stephanie Shar (@loudmouthblogs) July 13, 2015
As a human, as a woman, as a blogger... I feel a responsibility to this world. A responsibility to empower and encourage people. We live in an age where our words can be read across the country. And I don't want to waste that opportunity.
Even though I don't tell stories like this as often anymore, and I've become more passionate about making this an informative blog, I hope that the story of who I am always shines through. And I hope that the information I gift you with blesses your life and makes it more purposeful, profitable, and most of all FUN.
Don't be ashamed of your past. Whether or not you see it now, it can make a powerful impact.
After all, your story isn't about you. And neither is mine.
So, tell me: Who are you? What's your story? And how can you use it to serve others in the blogging world?